How to rehabilitate being a workaholic

My Story on Workaholic Rehabilitation

I am definitely a workaholic. Not because that’s what I want in life – it’s just how I am naturally inclined to be. So, there have been multiple times in my life that I have had to rehabilitate my workaholic nature. It’s actually why I became an acupuncturist. In my high school years, I was unquestionably an overachiever. I was doing all the things – trying to get the best GPA, trying to have the best community involvement, trying to get into a really good college, and I just burnt myself out. I had really bad insomnia and migraines and digestion because of my stress response in my high school days. And then, through just complete serendipity, I met an acupuncturist, and long story short, she taught me how to slow it down, how to recognize what supported my nervous system, what calmed it down, and what got me out of that reactive stress response.

Before I met the acupuncturist, I had no idea that a lot of my mental and emotional discomfort, paired with my body discomfort, was all related to a stress response. At this point in my life, I have had to actively rehabilitate my overachieving workaholic nature on three separate occasions, and each of those times were actually very similar circumstances, and it is an uncomfortable process to learn to deprogram an overactive nervous system. So, I’d like to share the process with you, and if you are interested in learning more, read on for all the details.

First thing’s first: Rehabbing an overactive nervous system – maybe you’ve been called a Type A, maybe you’ve been called a Highly Sensitive Person, maybe you have struggled with PTSD, or you’ve had so many strong stressors that the way you respond to things is becoming very reactive, and that’s your high stress. All those things are related to how your nervous system is functioning and whether it is existing more in alpha waves or beta waves, whether it’s more in the fight or flight nervous system, or the rest and relax. So stress, different life events, different situations, will prime us to respond in a more reactive state or more reactive nervous system, so we may be more hypervigilant, but at the end of the day it means we are stressed out more. That stress level means we’re more likely to respond to even low stress situations in a more reactive manner, or we might even be in a stressful situation that we react to with a higher degree of stress than we normally would. It feels like you’re on edge all the time – your muscles will tend to be tense, there’s usually neck and jaw tension, you may prone to tension headaches or migraines, and overall your body just feels uncomfortable and on edge – some people describe it as a frenetic energy under the skin, typically there are mood swings where you feel more easily angered, or you will have outbursts of frustration, you will be snippy or snappish, and because it doesn’t feel good emotionally, you might also feel guilt for how it impacts your friends, your coworkers, and your family. And just as much as people say it’s not fun to be around someone like this, I would argue that it’s also a lot more uncomfortable to be in that state – to feel those emotions – to realize that you have a hair trigger frustration zone, along with the physical symptoms. And if you have a uterus, typically that level of stress will dysregulate your hormones, and that creates an even more vicious cycle because PMS will get worse, period pain will get worse, and other period symptoms will be worse. This degree of stress can impact your digestion too.

Let’s talk about the rehab part of things:

The rehab part is boring. It is BORING. It is really hard, especially if you’re a person who loves to achieve things and get things done, and always has projects. The rehab is to try to slow it down. That means doing mindfulness, and there is a really hilarious TikTok video on this topic. I have found in myself that every time I have had to rehabilitate my workaholic nature, I have to really fight boredom because I automatically and immediately want to fill my time with some kind of a project, or I’ll be like, “Oh! Building raised beds for the garden will be a fun project – it will fulfill me!” But if I have been under a lot of stress, a big project like this will simply feed into the same stress response, right? Anything that has a deadline, like if you’re thinking you need to get these beds done by a certain date, will feed into the stress response. But if you don’t have a set time frame and think that a couple of years or whatever will be fine for the project, then so be it – that’s okay. But if you’re putting more pressure on yourself with home projects and fun projects that have deadlines, that, again, is just feeding into the stress response.

So – the key things to do are to look at what is real self-care for you that helps your nervous system unwind. For most people that comes down to the basics of movement, sleep, nourishment, and things that actually allow us to rest. I find it is useful to go about the rest part of it by doing things like spending some time in a hammock daily, depending on the weather. You can set a timer and spend some time just lying there and spacing out, looking at the clouds for 10 minutes, or even 15 minutes if that feels accessible to you. Or read a trashy novel in your hammock. Some people like to create like a cocoon situation where they wrap the hammock around them so they can tune out the world. Other rest things include taking a bath, and trying not to make the bath into an activity, just relax and zone out, perhaps with music or candlelight to just look at the flame. I do think reading a trashy novel – not a self-help book, not a book that’s going to help you earn more money, and not a book that’s going to help you solve a problem, but just a book for fun, like fiction, sci-fi, romance – something that’s just fun. And you can read it in the bath or in your hammock, or anywhere else that is relaxing to you.

Mindfulness breath work is also important. I find that when my brain has been in a go – go – go state, I have to do a breath practice that makes me do something. So, walking meditations do exist; you can focus on putting one foot in front of the other and breathing into your lower belly, and you will walk very slowly, and that’s the moving meditation. I’m also a huge fan of alternate nostril breathing, because that requires you to pay attention to what you’re doing. Just Google alternate nostril breathing and you’ll find a how-to video. You can also do box breathing, where you inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four, and then hold your breath for another count of four, and then repeat. Because you have to concentrate on each aspect of the box breathing, it is more difficult for your mind to wander, and it helps me to focus on something enough that I don’t get bored during the time I set aside for meditation. Also, when you haven’t been meditating or doing mindfulness work for a long time, you need to start slow and steady. So, start with five minutes a day for a week, then try 10 minutes a day for two weeks. If you can do 10 minutes a day for two weeks, if you think you’re ready, then try 15 minutes a day, or do 10 minutes a day for a third week before you bump up to 15 minutes a day. I would do 15 minutes a day for three or four weeks, and when that becomes easy, you can try for 20. 20 minutes of mindfulness practice a day can be your goal. There is research that shows if you can aim for 23 to 25 minutes a day, four to five days a week, you gain the most benefit. There are also studies that show you can reduce and manage pain with consistent mindfulness practice, and it also improves how your nervous system is functioning. So, research shows that 23 to 25 minutes a day is the ideal amount of time, but any amount of mindfulness practice will help. And with meditation, if you feel bored, or like your mind is wandering all over the place, that is part of the process of deprogramming your nervous system, and it’s a sign that you need it even more.

That resistance, that boredom, that sense that you’re failing, that is your active nervous system wanting to continue to be active and overextend its reach, and is part of that frenetic energy of the stress response, which is so hard to balance with stillness. But the stillness is exactly what we need, and meditation is like training for a half marathon – you have to train for it – you can’t just run a half marathon on day one without doing any prep work, you have to go slowly from running one to two miles a day, with a longer three mile run once or twice a week, to build up to running that 13 mile distance over three or four months of work. It’s the same thing with meditation. That’s why we start with five minutes a day in the beginning for a week or two, then build to 10 minutes, so hopefully by two or three months in we are at that 15 or 20 minute mark.

Another way to slow down is to do a moving meditation like Tai Chi or Qi Gong, and you can probably find local classes that are available for you. These are great ways to still the mind through movement and breath work that do the same as a meditation practice. The goal is to find ways to slow down.

Other ways to slow down involve creating dedicated screen free time. I would encourage you to get clear about not checking your phone right before you go to bed or first thing in the morning. You can set a timer, or there are ways to set your phone to be in off work mode until you’re ready for it. So, if you get up at 6:00 am, try not to look at your phone until 8:00 am, try to give yourself two hours in the morning to just be – to wake up, have a good morning routine, make some food and eat it, do a stretching routine, do a mindfulness practice, go for a short walk; if you love exercising in the morning, do your exercise, all before looking at your phone. That can be so great in our fast-paced world.

If you don’t already have boundaries with respect to work, try to set some. See if you can log out of your work email at a specific time in the evening and have really set work hours. If you haven’t done this, it will take some training, and clients or coworkers may push back until they get used to your new hours. For instance, your email signature can include your work hours and a different contact for emergencies. And you have to stick to the hours you say you will work, and not check your email or answer a work phone call when it is not your designated work time. These are all habits that we’ve lost in our current rat race society, but these are the boundaries we need to be able to give our minds rest so we feel like we can have time to unwind, to do our exercise and our self-care.

Yes, self-care can be luxury items, but the really basic self-care to get our nervous system to rehabilitate, is finding time to shut our minds off, doing something enjoyable that is also restful, liking laying in that hammock, and creating time to truly nourish ourselves through food and delicious beverages and good conversation. Those are the things I talk about with nourishment, because when we get busy, those are the first things to go – exercise, cooking for ourselves, and sometimes even just having good conversations with friends – leisurely conversations. But these are the things our souls and our spirits need to feel alive and connected. That is what feeds us. Those things are what keep us in that calm nervous system and that rest and relax nervous system.

All of the things I’ve discussed are important in rehabilitating your nervous system, but I would say the number one best thing is, unfortunately, the most difficult, which is that breath work and mindfulness piece. The next best thing is setting boundaries around your work hours, and when you’re available for work. And finally, is rebuilding those healthy habits that help calm your nervous system down. For me, movement is crucial. If I don’t do weight training or yoga or kind of a strong cardio, like treadmill work, or sprinting and jogging for 30 minutes because I prefer to be outdoors, I am not at my best. This kind of exercise is necessary for me, though I know it is not for everyone, but doing movement practice of any kind is so vital for nervous system rehabilitation.

I hope that helps. Ultimately, just remember that with burnout recovery you will have to face boredom, and you will have to face some guilt for trying to slowing down, and it’s uncomfortable.

Stay tuned for more later on how long it takes to recover from burnout.

To your health,

Lindsey